What’s Good for Him is Not Always Good for Me… 8/28/15

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What’s good for him is not always what is good for me.

He wants everything to be even when it comes to time spent with our daughter.

I work very hard on making the schedule equal. I am always trying to be fair. I am always bending myself like a pretzel to be fair and have him feel like he is being treated as equally as I would want to be treated. I do that even though he is an asshole.

It is becoming clear that because of the Hurricane that is currently turning in the ocean, my daughter’s school is going to be cancelled on Monday.  Since he has her on Sunday and Monday, it means he has another long weekend with her.  If school is cancelled, then he will have three long weekends in a row.

As a result, I called him this morning to speak to him about making the schedule more fair. I asked him to make a suggestion.  He said he had none.  I suggested that we switch our rotation next weekend.  He could have her Friday and Saturday and I could have her Sunday and Monday.  This way the hours spent together would be fair. He said it was chutzpah of me to ask for a change of date because of a storm.  He has no control over the weather and it is not his fault that school will be cancelled.  Am I in the wrong? Wouldn’t he ask for the same if the situation were reversed? Talk to me readers and let me know what you think.

This has been a bad week. Lost the deal on the house, still living in construction, just feeling down…don’t feel like making a list of positive things, but I know it will make me feel better so here it goes:

  1. I have my own house.
  2. My daughter is home. I love her more than life.
  3. Getting back into the routine of school and work is starting to feel normal.
  4. I have my puppy today.
  5. I have good friends who lift me up.
  6. I have amazing parents.

xoxo

13 thoughts on “What’s Good for Him is Not Always Good for Me… 8/28/15”

  1. 3 long weekends in a row seems unfair. It’s not a huge deal, but I would be concerned about his unwillingness to compromise about something so small. I’m sorry it was a bad week. Hugs to you!

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      • It does suck, there is no doubt. My ex gets three weekends a month, from Thursday night to Sunday night (Monday in summer). He gets most of her free time from school, but that’s just the way it is. I do get Mondays during the school year- and they don’t have classes on campus. Still have homework to do, though. It’s not fair or even, but you just have to deal with it.

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    • What this means is that you have to stop turning yourself into a pretzel for him. Stick to the schedule as outline in the parenting plan. Period. It means you can’t ask him for a change, but he can’t ask you either.
      You have to stop changing things for him. He has shown who he is, believe him.

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      • I wish it was that simple but life doesn’t always work that way. We just found out about a mother-daughter outing with her dance schedule that falls on his weekend. Let’s see if he will change with me. Everything is so complicated.xoxo

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  3. I kinda agree with Hope. :-/ sorry. I know it feels unfair. But think of it this way….what if your scheduled days happened to give you three weeks in a row where there’s no school on Friday….would you be inclined to give up one of your days just because of how the school schedule worked out? Trust me, it all evens out in the long run.

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  4. Ugh. This does suck. It would be nice of him to be more considerate of you. Could you guys maybe swap some upcoming time? If not remember– sometimes this will work in your favor… A random event will give you more time with her at some point. It’s bound to. Hugs!

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