While I may complain about my divorce and dealing with my ex, the real person who suffers is my daughter.
My daughter is kind, gentle, smart, loving. She is my best friend and I love her so. We have done everything together. From the moment she was born it was me and her, doing everything, together.
But, now with divorce we can’t do that anymore. She is spending 50% of her life with her dad and I am not in the picture. I make the best out of the 50% that I am with her, but it is only 50%.
She says it’s not fair. I got to leave and she had to stay.
It’s not fair that she never feels like she is home.
It’s not fair that she is constantly in motion, packing a bag, always traveling.
When I decided to get divorced, I didn’t know how to protect her from the difficulties of living in this situation. She never knows where she is and what she is doing. I have done all the tricks, a calendar telling her where she is, reminders, but she doesn’t seem to have the energy to even look at it. She is in therapy, with a great therapist, who I hope will help her.
But, I am sad for her. I feel like crying for her. This is so unfair.
I wish I could save her, but I can’t.
I also realize that it is time for me to separate from her and give her some independence. If she grows up completely dependent on me, that will not make for a well adjusted grown up.
Divorced parents…any suggestions on how to navigate these waters?